Friday, November 03, 2006

Interesting Commercials

Dead or Alive (DoA)
Here's a very... "interesting" ad for DoA for the XBox

Banned XBox 360 commercial
The commercial was banned because it involves gunfights. But it's still funny to watch.

Banned Candy Bar Commercial
For you info, that guy was just cooling down from jogging.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

The Journals of Gaylord Humpwarden [Campaign Log Compilation]

Campaign Start
Campaign Magic System

001 - Day 1 - Day 390
002 - Day 391 - Day 393
003 - Day 394 - Day 395
004 - Day 396
005 - Day 397
006 - Day 398

Physics Games

These games are pretty cool. If you think that physics is all about how to drift your car on that next hairpin or how far the guy flies when you hit him with a rocket launcher, think again.

They're no Half-Life 2, but these games use physics in much more interesting and innovative ways.

Personally, I kinda liked Armadillo Run by Peter Stock.
Fun-Motion - List of Physics GamesFun-Motion - List of Physics Games
Build bridges and other stuff using the materials in your hands to help an armadillo (who's always rolled up in a ball for some reason) through a series of portals to get him home.

Download the Demo


You can get the full game at the Armadillo Run Website for USD 19.99.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

2001 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In RPGs

Some of my favourites includes:

3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery.

6. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan.
7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes.
8. How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook.

10. Just because my character and I can speak German, doesn't mean the GM can.

33. There is no such skill as 'improvised cooking'

50. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orcs' cave instead of exploring it first
53. Not allowed to start a drow character weighing more than a quarter ton.
54. Cannot pimp out other party members.
55. Before facing the dragon, not allowed to glaze the elf.
56. No matter how well I roll, a squirrel cannot carry a horse and rider at full sprint.


103. There is no such thing as a Club +3 of Cup Checks
104. Nor is there a +1 Longsword, +5 against party members.

106. I do not have weapon proficiency in cat.

130. I am not authorized to form the head.

141. My maid does not know kung fu.

143. Not allowed to by a holy symbol for every god just in case one of them is right.

146. Not allowed to play an Australian in any game set before 1600.

150. Not allowed to create recreational drugs in suppository format.
151. Halflings do not have a racial proficiency with the flamethrower.
152. When the guy is at -9 HP is not the best time for my cleric to convert him.

161. I will not nail every single female party member except for the elf chick played by that creepy guy.

168. I was also not recruited by 12 dwarves and a wizard to rob a dragon.
(FYI: References to JRR Tolkien's The Hobbit.)

180. I have neither the touch nor the power.
(FYI: Transformers: The Movie and He-Man references.)

204. I am not too sexy for the elf, too sexy for the elf, so sexy myself.
205. My 3rd ed. Red Wizard is not allowed to start a business named Thay Co.
(FYI: The Red Wizards of Thay are from the Forgotten Realms setting.)

247. If the king rewards me with a forest, I am to assume he intends for me to keep it a forest.
248. There is no Halfling god of groin shots.

252. I can not order the Druid to transform and roll out.

255: The brooding, dark figure with the hood and raspy voice shouldn't be killed before he's given the party the quest.
256: Nor after he's given the party the quest.
257: Nor after he's given the party the reward for the quest.

277. I will not put a fog spell infront of the archer
278. Especially not if there are our party-fighters in front of the archer
279.And REALLY don't do it if the DM has heard about "friendly fire"
280. Don' think that anyone in your group has blind-fight-
281. And dont use 280. as an excuse to put darkness over your 5th level group battling with a little army of gobos n orks...
(FYI: Goblins and orcs can see in the dark.)

284. If the DM decides to allow guns in the Forgotten Realms, I am not to nag him for an AK-47.
285. Or an Uzi.
286. Or a howitzer.

291: Lawful Stupid and Chaotic Badass are now forbidden alighnments.

293: If may bard uses perform (sing), I can not name him MC Hammer and sing "Can't Touch This"
294: If my bard uses Perfom (danse), I can not name him Micheal Jackson.

275. I must remember at dinner time Rock is not a dwarven delicacy.
276. I must remember at dinner time Log is not an elven delicacy.
294. My dwarf is not claustrophobic, likewise, my elf is not agoraphobic.

312: Presidigitation can not increase breast size.

323. I cannot start the game with a highly contagious deadly disease.
324. I cannot start the game pregnant.

340. I cannot start the game married to another PC without their consent.
341: The dog is not there to set of traps.

354. Tricking the party into killing each other off and then turning in their corpses for the bounty is frowned upon.
355. My monk's battlecry is not "Round 1: Fight!"

360. I must remind the GM that my Blessed can Raise Dead before he runs another murder mystery again.

362. It is very unlikely my half-ogre and the half-elf, half-dragon, tiefling and aasimar have the same dad.

366. Female minotaurs do not have udders. This issue is closed.

376. The barbarian must remember that 'human shield' is a figure of speech.

378. I can cannot give my character the moniker "Tim the Barbarian". Especially since he's the bard.
379. I am to stop asking the elf to put a good word in for me with Santa.
380. I cannot use the ventriloquism skill to convice the fighter his new sword is a magical talking one.

1260: May not "accidently" stab the party cleric and steal his things.




There are just too many. These are just a few that I liked.

Some of the quotes were taken from a LiveJournal post here.

06 - The Journals of Gaylord Humpwarden

Day 398

Lots of things happened so fast today, I don't know where to start.

After the rift fiend cut down the tree I was in, it went after Jack. It took me awhile but I managed to get my tangled butt out of the tree. I sneaked further back from the battle (to give myself a better tactical view... that's it... yeah) and that's where I found him.

A lone assassin was in front of me, hiding behind one of the trees. I must've circled around behind him without him noticing. He was staring at the battle and didn't notice me.

So, I decided it's time for me to have a little chat with this guy to find out what in the world is going on here. To cut a long story short, me and my friend, the rock had a little chat session with his head. And when I thought it was over, I gave him another session... just in case.

By the time I tied him up and dragged him out, the battle was over.

The others started exploring the camp. Render was venting his anger on the corpse. He had a badly burned right hand. He should be more careful when playing with fire, I think. Jack came back after awhile... and I thought I saw a jam stain on his mouth there for a minute. Alex stripped off his armor and went off somewhere to wash off all that blood, I think.

Actually, I expect him to be wearing his underwears only under all that armor. So, I was kind of shocked when he started stripping. Luckily he was wearing a pair of pants under it.

After awhile, I turned to check on the prisoner but he disappeared! He must've been an escape artist! He was kind enought to leave the rope though.
Note to self: Must practice tying a rope.


We found him in one of the small houses. Render and I was at the back to block his escape while Joe and Alex guarded the only door. I saw him talking to a black communication orb before he saw Alex.

For a moment, he tried to take his own life! Alex was trying to subdue him so, he used his shield only. After awhile we managed to knock him out but he had bitten his wrist.

Alex took care of the bleeding though. And this time we tied him up real good. They didn't let me do the tying though (damn wanted another go at it).


Right after dinner, Alex and Jack went off to look for the way back. And now I can't sleep because KLEOS AND JOE HAD THE BRIGHT IDEA TO CUT UP THE RIFT FIEND'S BLADES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITH A SHORT SWORD. AND ALL THAT HACKING IS KEEPING ALL OF US AWAKE!!!

Where in the world is Alex and Jack. I wanna go with them too.